What to Do... Internet Flirtationships (7)

...when you encounter someone on the Internet and really hit it off with them.

Hi. This is partially going to be a PSA (all right, readers; for once I'm doing an advice column based on actual experience in the given field), and also just some tips and tricks.

TO ALL CHILDREN (AND ADOLESCENTS, AND ADULTS, AND ELDERLY PEOPLE PERUSING EHARMONY OR MATCH.COM): this is a very important message concerning social interactions over the interwebs. More often than not, people in Internet chatrooms aren't just looking for a stranger to converse with. BE WARY, and BE CAUTIOUS. This does not mean you have to lie about every detail of your life, or shut down the chat and never return to those kinds of sites, but here are some important things to keep in mind if you do find yourself in these types of situations.

1. ASL = age, sex, location. These are details you do not have to give out if you are not fully comfortable. I find it is easy to filter out which people are sex-crazed by saying I'm in my nineties. (I apologize to anyone in their nineties who happens to utilize Internet chatrooms.)
2. Feel free to be sassy/sarcastic/mysterious. Remember, you do not have to give out details that you don't want to.

• details you probably should not give out under any circumstances, no matter how comfortable you are with this individual:
• address
• age*
• height**
• weight**
• eye color**
• fingerprint pattern**
• SSN
• PIN
• credit card number
• phone number

* = If you are under the age of eighteen, it is not recommended that you disclose your age. You might be saying to yourself, well, what have you done in these situations, besides lie and say you're in your nineties. I tend to hint at what age I might be without actually revealing it. Or, when I was at the tender age of twelve, I wasn't very scrupulous about sharing these things on the Internet and just flat-out admitted it. While nothing bad came of that Internet friendship, I DO NOT recommend that minors follow that example.
** = These are loose suggestions. If these details cannot identify you specifically out of the seven billion humans on Earth, then you can share them if you're not uncomfortable doing so.

       3. Set your boundaries. If telling them right off the bat that you don't want to hear how aroused they are is what it takes, then do it. If it's revealing your worries about communicating via other means, then do it. This is the way to ensure your own safety and comfort in these situations.


Now for some general tips I've compiled:

• Always be skeptical. It does not matter how much you think you trust this person, how honest they seem, how close you've become: you must always watch out for your own security and welfare. Keeping the person at a safe distance allows you to have greater control over the relationship.
• Don't let yourself get sucked in. This might be difficult - it depends on the "intensity" of the relationship - but it is a must. I can only speak for myself when I say that once I start texting somebody, I become insane, out of control, psychopathic, bipolar, desperate, pathetic, and evolutionarily worthless as a human being. But you also should not let yourself get sucked in because it could lead to you being manipulated into things you're not comfortable with and other unhealthy consequences.
• Have fun. Hell, make jokes as often as possible. It's probably safer to stay on the joking side than to get into intimate details of your personal life (remember the sharing policies highlighted above). Also, why not? By ordinance of the first tip, you should assume that the relationship is not serious OR prevent it from becoming so, so jokes are the way to go.

If you are on these Internet sites for the dating aspect, these tips may be taken lightly, given how much or little of your life you want to reveal to the significant other.

Good luck, and stay safe!