Chile vs. Chili

If you're totally fine with reading a nice little rant on grammar/spelling by yours truly, continue. If not, I totally get that. Who wants to read about why some freak is getting ticked off by some English-class thing? I mean, really? But anyway.

Okay, I am a New Mexico kid, and therefore, I have, for one thing, an unfair advantage in this situation, but also an extreme bias. Chile is the lifeblood of this state. We have a state question that asks "red or green?" referring to chile peppers. Usually New Mexicans have a strong preference for either side - for me, it's green, though I kind of just chose it because it has more character and was pretty good in combination with a cheeseburger. Green chile season comes in late summer, and roasting turnstiles permeate the air with the distinct smell of roasting chile.

Even within this state, there are people who flub. "Chili peppers" is often seen written on signs when, obviously, it should be chile. The cafeteria will serve "green chili stew," when they could have said "green chile chili" if they had really wanted, or rather just changed that i to an e. I understand that this sort of mix-up goes on outside the state as well, probably with more frequent occurrences.

In this article and also on the Dictionary.com definition, "chile" and "chili" are seen as interchangeable. With the passing of time and the continuous mistakes, it has likely become acceptable for either of those spellings, and/or "chilli," to fit. Mostly, with the spellings all falling under the i ending, the exact meaning is gathered from context.

Personally, here's how I see it. (I will provide everyone with a handy little translation here, so they can at least understand what I mean if they don't ride on the "e" versus "i" bandwagon.)

chile = spicy variety of pepper, grown in New Mexico (and probably other places in the southwest and nearabouts; I didn't conduct intensive research for this opinion piece)

chili = variety of stew, usually containing meat and also has vegetables; sometimes spicy due to variety of spices used in cooking

My understanding is that "chilli" is the British spelling of "chili," but I'm not sure on that. I also understand that Chile, capitalized, is also a country on the western coast of South America. (You know, the long and skinny one by the ocean?) Not to be confused with the peppers, at all.

If somebody writes "chili peppers," I know what they mean, because there aren't really meat-stew peppers that just grow readily on trees, waiting for the fall harvest. I've never seen a mix-up where somebody writes "chile" for "chili," mostly because they probably don't know the e-ending one, or know when precisely to use it. (Refer to above guide for some usage suggestions.)

So, maybe I got a couple people scratching their heads in confusion, or pumping fists in agreement, but, either way, I hope this was a learning experience for all parties involved, including me. (Yeah, that green chile is awesome.)

What to Do... Romantic Trouble (5)

...in any situation where either a devastating occurrence causes you to lose your emotional stability, or you have a character conflict where you need to conceal improper sentiments.

Basically, what I mean by a devastating occurrence is when somebody breaks up with you, or somebody cheats on you or is having an affair, or something in the romantic world, I guess. (NOTE: This is for future reference. Hopefully nobody out there has already had to deal with this. Not without my handy advice! Okay, joking.)

Some examples in literature; from a book I'm reading, and from a story compilation I'm kind of writing.

Janie had looked up. Reeve could not meet Janie's gaze. There was something glinting about her, like a setting sun in his eyes. Without inflection, just plain words, as if reading a vocabulary list, Janie said to him, "Don't call me. Don't come to my house when you're home."
     "No, Janie, please," he said, and his voice cracked. "I still love you. Let me talk to you alone. Please."
     "If you even liked me, you would have stopped yourself from doing this."
     "That's not true. I just wasn't thinking. I still love you" (122).

Reeve leaned against a building and slid down the bricks to the sidewalk, like a drunk. The expression on Janie's face! The stunned blankness, as if he had slapped her (125). 

Source: Cooney, Caroline B. The Voice on the Radio.  New York: Ember, 1996. Print. (This book here.)

Whatever it is, he's already done it.
     And he's not asking for forgiveness.
     He's pleading for punishment.
     All at once I realize it. I put the pieces together – his state of being disheveled, the look in his eyes, the pleading for punishment – and I get it.
     He cheated on me.
     He must now see my newfound knowledge on my face, because he takes a step closer to me, arm outstretched in a pleading gesture.
     “Please – I can explain-”
     “Please do,” I say, trying not to let the iciness come through in my voice. I try to sound even, to sound diplomatic. I try to sound like I empathize: people make mistakes, forgiveness is almost always reached somehow. I try to sound like a counselor or therapist, and he's speaking about having done this to someone else, someone out of my reach, someone I have no ties to and no desire to meet face-to-face. But it hurts. It cuts, right into my heart, and there's a hollow feeling in my chest that I can't remedy. He's done this to me. And all of a sudden I snap. I can't help it.
     “How could you do this to me?” I say, my voice hoarse and weak and raspy. My breath catches and my heart pounds weakly in my chest, aching and throbbing for every beat. I can't look at him but I have to, I have to transmit my pain to him. “How?” My voice starts trembling then, like I'm scared I'm going to be hit even though I already have been.
     “I- I don't know.” Suddenly, the voice I used to love is strangled and tied up in knots too. His guilt is so overwhelming that he needs no words.
     Saying his name crushes my frantically pounding heart, willing it to disappear. “I would like you to get your things and go.”
     “It wasn't me,” he pleads, but I catch his eyes and know instantly that it was.
     “My God!” I shout then, not even bothering to keep my voice down. “I'll bet it was a coworker, wasn't it? You figure, we're getting out late. My son won't notice. My wife won't care. And oh boy I can't control myself!” I'm shrieking so loudly I don't even recognize my own voice, shrieking so my voice can get through my tightening throat. My eyes spill over with tears, and my rage only fuels their fire (25).

Source: my story compilation of tidbits of the lives of characters from the age-old tale, Sunlight. (Oh, new readers. I do not pity you for not knowing in the least about what I am talking. Sunlight was a torture I do not ever want to put anyone through again. There is a reason I excluded names from the above passage.)


Okay, so, my point is comparing how we act in these situations to how I think it would be better to act. (My personal opinion, based on my personal, and not so intense, but similar, experiences.) If someone you really cared about were to tell you that things weren't working out, or they were seeing someone else, or to just initiate a break-up, we would inevitably feel betrayed, upset, infuriated, and desperate, right? But, as I see in all these romance novels and movies, I don't think lashing out or pathetically begging is really the answer. I understand that when you're mad at someone, it's really hard to hold that inside and pretend it doesn't exist. But I've thought about it, and I would hope that if someone were to break up with me, they would come talk about it with me in person, so we could have a reasonable conversation and say our goodbyes in a civil fashion. However, in this day and age of IM and texting and Facebook and Twitter, I hardly think it's likely that anyone would take the time to break up with you face-to-face, especially if they're cutting you off to get with someone else. So, if you maybe see a post online somewhere saying "We're done" or "I want to break up" or maybe something more accusatory, or a status update saying "single", or pictures of some new girlfriend/boyfriend, I would hope you can try to get a time to talk to them about it (don't start throwing out the insults or groveling at their feet; they deserve neither for the way they broke up with you) and get both sides to understand and say goodbye the way they should.

If someone is cheating on you/having an affair outside of your relationship, it's going to be a bit harder to understand that because, like the breakup, it's them leaving (or maybe not leaving) you, but, unlike the breakup, they're not acknowledging they want somebody else before pursuing it. If they tell you straight out, however, bravo for them. I can see how it would be horrible to have to admit to someone what you're doing, especially if it's of that magnitude. Like in my story compilation, I think it's easier said than done to act like it's all happening in the third-hand, and you are completely on the outside, especially if it's happening to you. But, if they truly feel badly about it, it's hard to hold a really long grudge. However, if they don't feel badly about it and they're just letting you in on a long ongoing secret and they don't really care how it affects you or your relationship with them, it's better to still be civil. Maybe just let them off the hook as neutrally as you can, if manageable. I can infer that it would be horribly crushing if this happened, if somebody you love had betrayed you in this way. But, not even jerks like them deserve your anger.

I stand up and something overtakes me. I feel my arm prepare to strike him across the face, but I hold myself back. “No. You're not worth that. That's what you want, isn't it?” (more from my story compilation, 26).

Because they (maybe) expect you to crumble, you should hold back - in their presence, at least - from showing them your weakness. If you are so broken you can't possibly refrain from any sort of release of emotion, I can understand.

If the case is that it's just somebody who pushes your buttons and for some reason there is an unavoidable "character conflict," I believe it is easier to feign politeness and niceness. In some situations. I've found that I just end up talking in very short sentences, because long sentences will make it easier to start to vent my anger. Sometimes I paste on a polite, "I'm in the presence of unsuspecting strangers" smile and keep my angry monologue running full-speed inside my head. (Trust me, you wouldn't want to hear that one out loud.) I try to act as I feel they would expect me to, and keep up conversation or polite gestures until I can get away from them. Okay, if it's a sibling, there's probably less need for formalities, but no need to lash out on them. (Well, I'll admit, I do kind of lash out by criticizing them loudly to myself in a sing-song voice until they storm off.)

My hope is that some of you readers have your own ways of dealing with these emotional outbursts that are tried and true. If so, help us out! (Half the time, I don't even know what I'm talking about. I've never been there. I don't really know how it feels.)

By the way, The Voice on the Radio is part of the series of the "corny '90s horror books" (OTTILT Sep 7).

What to Do... Broken Promises (2)

... in those situations where people promise you something, you get your hopes up, and then your hopes are shattered.

Situation 1: If the person legitimately forgot their promise to you and they apologize so profusely you can tell they feel worse about it than you do, forgive them. If it's a single, isolated incident (or incidents), and usually they follow through, then they did not intentionally do it and they do not deserve you holding any sort of petty grudge against them.

Situation 2: If the person promises to do something, but then they completely blow it and the next day say nothing regarding it, no "Sorry," not even some lame and completely unbelievable excuse, confront them about it. You don't have to wait until the next time they try to play you to say something. Ask them, "Why do you always tell me you're going to do something, but then you don't do it?" However, it may be easier for you to wait until they try it again, so you can catch them in the act and they can't avoid or deny it. Right after they say it, tell them to not say it. Ask them how they plan to do it. Say you'll be glad to see their work/receive their call/whatever task they claim they will do. Talking to them about it will get them to (hopefully) stop making these false promises, and it could even finally propel them to do what you've asked for them to do.

What to Do... In CrushLand (1)

...if you're one of those kids moving along through high-school that ends up having what seems to be "true" love, a super crush, or at the very least, any kind of requited anything.

Here's something to ponder: if you do like them, and you have your reasons, and said person reciprocates any sort of positive feeling, then you can try to step in and take action, if this is what you really want to do.

1) Try to get the details.
          Typically, when you like a person, you try to find out as much as possible about them. Why not then try to obtain this information directly from the person? If you can learn the more personal details, it'll be easier to find out his/her feelings.
2) Go out of your comfort zone a little.
          It's okay if the two of you just banter and engage like regular friends, but if you really want to know if any of those feelings are going on, push the boundaries a little. Don't be shy. Don't come out with it all at once, of course, but slowly kick up the level of bantering. Ask questions with a subtle romantic connotation. You never know - your instinct could have been right!
3) Notice how he/she interacts with you.
          If there is a teasing undertone for "arguments," if they bring up something funny you both said/heard, if they act funny - calling you by nicknames, addressing you by your full name, seeking you out for small bits of advice, asking you a bit more personal questions - then there are some signs that this reciprocated feeling could have made it into charted territory - a.k.a. CrushLand.

Also, here's an added extra question that could be useful:
How do I know if they're looking at me? This could be a useful bit to know - if they're looking, they're noticing. If they're noticing, they're paying attention. If they're paying attention, they're interested. If- Well, you get the idea. So, how do you know? My main answer is look right back at them. I have come up with a few main ways they could react and what they could mean:

• Their gaze does not at all meet yours. They weren't looking.
• They quickly look away. They were probably shy, and embarrassed to be caught looking.
• They hold your gaze for a few moments before looking away. There is an attraction of some sort there. You know all those cliches about staring into each other's eyes. This person's probably caught up in your gaze, but then they've recomposed themselves before any outsiders take notice.
• You do not catch their eye immediately, but after a moment they look in your direction and return the gaze. They're definitely acknowledging that you've looked their way. This shows that they notice, and care, if just a little little bit. Maybe they've just started thinking of you, just noticed your presence there, and they want you to know they know. If they hold the gaze a moment or so, they are experiencing the results of the previous reaction.

I dedicate this brief self-help post to the sunshine of my life, mutual Harrison lover, and "crazy person," Anonymous, who currently has a crush on whom she calls, "George #2."

Train's "Drive By"

You readers are probably surprised that I've made any mention of current music. And, I'll admit it, I'm even surprised at myself for doing so. It's not because of the band, because I've loved Train since "Drops of Jupiter" was nominated for a Grammy - and I was pretty young. It's because of the era this song was born into. The Train songs I'm used to are those from the late '90s and early '00s. "Calling All Angels," "Drops of Jupiter," "She's on Fire," "Your Every Color;" since Drops of Jupiter and My Private Nation are the only albums I have from Train on my mp3.

Anyway, when I go to the library I look for CDs by artists I like and have few albums from. Train happened to be one of them. When I saw their latest album - I won't even bother to look up the title, California something, highway number or whatever - I was briefly intrigued, and, seeing some songs I recognized the titles of on the back, checked it out.

Going home I plugged in the CD player and started to give it a listen. A few moments into the first song I was shuddering, and decided to skip to "50 Ways to Say Goodbye," since I had searched it on YouTube once. I was dumbfounded by how unfamiliar it sounded to me and how distant I felt from the music in its new 2012 style. At that point I chose to listen to "Drive By," which I also was disappointed by because of the peppy bass and lack of recognizable instrumental sounds.

Pretty much all I listened to today was My Private Nation, since "Lincoln Avenue" is my current favorite. The title song got me singing the title lines of "Drive By," and frustrated by its prominence in my thoughts, I went to look it up on YouTube.

I am now ready to make a reassessment. Sure, this song is from 2012, and sure, I started to love Train from their original, early 21st century style. However, it has now been proved once again to me the quirky cuteness of the band, how Pat Monahan has a pure and angelic vocal tone that sways anyone to feel what is in his heart. It's now more obvious to me how the lilting words and heartfelt lyrics get you nodding your head in agreement and tapping your feet to the unavoidably peppy beat. I'm not going to hold a grudge against the song because all the people with current music tastes like it. My liking of this song is influenced by the deeper ties I have to Train from ten years ago, when "Drops of Jupiter" first fell from space and reached my ears.

Question

Is it possible to get stood up on a study session? I mean, from the evidence I've collected regarding the situation, it wasn't intended that this person forgot to come study with me. But I still felt a bit stood up, especially since two periods later they talked to me like, oh hey, no big deal, if I make you grin like an idiot but act nonchalant about fifth, everything will be fine.

Okay, honestly, I'm seriously overreacting. I wasn't that mad when they didn't show. In fact (cruelly, but honestly), I expected that they wouldn't remember. And it's not the end of the world. It's just the final exams. I can very well study by myself. And who cares as long as that person's still talking to me. I do want to be social, after all.

If the person in question is reading my blog, I'll forgive you for forgetting to show up yesterday. No big deal, and yes, you still make me grin like a maniac even if you forget things.

Question

Why does everyone all of a sudden have green eyes? Okay, it's not that they all of a sudden have different colored eyes, but I've been looking on and off these past weeks, and more and more people are coming out with green eyes. Never emerald or forest green, obviously, but sea green, or light green, or greenish-blue, or greenish-brown-hazel. I don't know, man, I always thought it was brown... Still, being with the people that have brown eyes reminds me that it's nice to have this eye color. Boring, but nice. 'Cause it's not so cliche anymore, green! HA!!

I don't dislike people with green eyes for any reason. I'm just saying, it's such a cliche eye color for novels (the nonexistent shades of green, anyhow), and I never thought anyone had green eyes in real life. And what about the people with green-blue eyes? What did they ever write when they were kids?

Just wondering peeps. If you've got green eyes, comment on this post.